SQ Week: Day 5, Caregiving: Stupor (Updated!)
by EvilRegalMarie
Summary: Prompt: Caregiving. Everyone wanted me to add to what I wrote, so I re-wrote it with more content! Emma can't sleep and finds herself at Granny's with a drunk-off-her-ass Regina. Will she be a good caregiver to the intoxicated ex-queen?


It was midnight and Emma Swan just couldn't sleep. She had tossed and turned on the couch for what felt like hours, her mind racing and her daydreams refusing to shut themselves down for the night. She decided that she would give up on catching some rest and headed to Granny's for a late-night snack. She knew she shouldn't be eating junk food this late, but hell, her stomach didn't know what time it was. Henry was sound asleep with his grandparents and uncle, so she knew they would be alright until she returned. It didn't even bother her anymore that she was alone, Henry was really all she needed to keep herself happy. Neal was gone and she had come to terms with his passing and Hook, she didn't give a shit where he was. He chose to abandon her and go on another series of adventures with his buddies. He chose a different lifestyle that didn't involve her, therefore he didn't deserve her. He was after all, just a pirate. What should she have expected? She walked into Granny's and sat down next to one of the windows, ordering a drink and admiring the fact that the night sky was clear and all of the stars were out and gleaming. Her stargazing was caught short as a loud boom rattled her ears and her table shook. There sat Regina, flopping herself in the seat across from Emma, staring at her with glassy, tired eyes and a goofy smile on her face. Her usually tidy hair was pushed back out of her eyes and the first three buttons on her blouse were undone. She looked like a train-wreck, but Emma didn't mind. It was kind of like a sexy train wreck; you just couldn't look away.

"Hi my buddy Emma. It's so nice to see you here, welcome to Storybrooke. I'm the Mayor.", Regina slurred, moving her head graciously from side to side and squeezing Emma's hand from across the table. Oh good lord, Regina was trashed. She hadn't ever remembered Regina drinking, not even one or two drinks at social events. She was always so well-reserved and regal in her manners, and apparently she was also unable to hold her liquor. Seeing her in this condition was almost enough to make Emma spit out her coffee in laughter. This was absolutely hilarious to her; the evil queen alone and drunk in a diner at midnight. This lame, sleepless night was about to turn into an eventful one, Emma thought to herself. So much for sleeping. She pulled her hand back and got closer to Regina's face to take a closer look. Was she half-asleep or was she really seeing this right now? Nope, she wasn't dreaming, she was indeed hammered. Her breath reeked of alcohol and her eyes looked like small marbles.

"Oh Emma, you came closer. Do you loveee me? Is it cause you wanna kisssss me? Cause I wanna kiss youuuu." Regina grabbed Emma by the back of her neck and tried to draw her in for a kiss. She almost touched her lips to the blonde's, her alcohol-tainted breath and red lips looked ever so inviting.

"No!", Emma said with some hoarseness in her voice, pushing herself away from the brunette. Now was not the time; if anything she would have been taking advantage of Regina's intoxication. Not that she wouldn't love to, but she wouldn't want to have to deal with the repercussions if Regina would choose to remember and regret that action. They have no doubt been having secret attractions to one another, but it's nothing that they are ready to admit. Emma couldn't tell if the Mayor was threatening her or playfully flirting half the time; it was driving her mind and body crazy.

"Uh...I mean it's not that I don't want to…well wait, why am I even saying this. It doesn't matter, you won't remember it anyways. Um, you're really drunk Regina. I think I should help you get home. You can't drive in this condition and I'm the sheriff so I can't allow you to sit here publicly intoxicated. Come on let's go." Emma reached down and went to grab Regina's keys as Regina snatched them off of the table first. Great, here we go.

"Bullshit Miss Swan ! I can drive just fine. I have a car and you know what that means? That means if I put the key in the hole and turn it, the car will go and I will go home and the car will go home with me. Okay? I mean we're not gonna sleep together or anything. My car and I have quite the platonic relationship." Regina snorted as she let out an evil-sounding laugh. This was getting funnier by the second, and Emma knew she was so far beyond her limit. She stood up and attempted to stumble out of the door as Emma caught up with her, opening the door for her and slipping her fingers through the keyring, taking them out of Regina's hand. She had her hand on the brunette's back, holding her upright and giving a wink at Ruby as she exited the diner.

"Money's on the table Rubes. I paid for everything, sorry if she caused you any trouble. I'm gonna take her home now!"

"Bye Miss Red Ruby. I loveeeee you so fucking much." Regina shouted from across the diner. Thank God no one else was around at this time of night; they would be getting quite the show. Emma turned to see Ruby lock the door behind them and smile. She had probably had enough for the night, or at least a hundred nights.

The cool air felt so good on the back of Emma's neck and face as they exited the building. Granny's was so hot inside and out here she no longer felt the need to shed her jacket. Her and Regina stood idle for a moment as Emma tried to decide on what to do in this situation. It wasn't necessarily- something she was used to. Should she bring her back to Mary Margaret's apartment and watch over her or assist her in her own home? Surely, a drunken ex-queen would probably wake up a sleeping newborn and piss off the Charmings', so to Regina's house it was.

"Come on Regina, I'm taking you home okay?" She opened the passenger side door to Regina's car, sliding her in and fastening her seatbelt. The brunette continued to protest but didn't fight back, she knew she would be fighting a losing battle. She started the engine and took off a little too quickly down the street. Luckily Granny's was only about ten minutes from the Mayor's mansion, so at least this amount of awkwardness wouldn't last too long. The first three minutes of the car ride was silent on the blonde's part. Emma couldn't find the words to say as Regina quietly looked around at the city and giggled to herself; she seemed quite entertained at a little bit of nothing. At least she was a happy drunk, she would have pegged her as one to drink and become evil again, throwing fireballs and shit.

"Emma pull over." 'Dammit', Emma thought to herself. 'We're almost there. I'm sure she can hold herself together for another minute; she's good with composure.'

"Do you think you'll be okay for another two minutes? We're almost-" Emma stopped as she looked away from the road for a moment, noticing the worsening green tint in Regina's complexion. Either she was going to puke or she was about to take on the appearance of her sister. Oh shit.

"Emma I said pull over", Regina said in a more serious tone, covering her mouth with her hand. Before Emma could get a few more feet down the road to comply with the brunette's wishes, the contents of Regina's stomach were suddenly covering the interior of the pristine car, including the arm of Emma's jacket. Regina looked shocked at her own actions for a moment before resting her head on the back of the seat and closing her eyes. "I don't feel gooooood." Her face remained green and Emma sped up a little, just hoping they could make it home without another incident. Regina tapped her fingers impatiently on her lap, just wishing she was at home already. "Emma I really have to pee, pull over, seriously. Now."

"Absolutely not. I can't let you go in public, that's against the law. We'll be home in just a second so just hold it okay?" The brunette shivered at her answer, sighing in frustration.

"Emmmmma. I really, really have to go.." Emma tried to ignore Regina as she bounced up and down in her seat, holding her hand in between her toned legs. If a sober version of Regina could see her drunk version, she would be dying of embarrassment. Emma almost felt bad for the woman, she knew what it felt like to be confined in a car with two pounds of liquid pushing on the inside of your body.

"Dammit Regina!" Emma kept her eyes focused on the road and the continuing streetlights. She managed to pull up in front of the large house without any accidents or more sickness, thank God. She stopped the car and removed her tainted jacket, more than thankful to take it off. Regina stumbled out of the car before falling back into the seat, her dress covered in vomit and her hand pressed tight against her core. .She turned to look at the mess she's made in her own car, disgusted and angry with Emma.

"Next time I tell you to pull over Sheriff, why don't you fucking listen? Do you know how expensive this car is? More expensive than your dog!"

"I don't…I don't own a dog."

Emma shook her head and came around the side, grabbing Regina and holding her upright as she lifted her out of the car, careful not to jostle her too quickly. Regina continued to bounce up and down and dance in place while in Emma's arms, trying to hold in her over-filled bladder.. She was grinding her hips against the blonde's and turning her on to the point of insanity. Still, Emma had to remain professional. As much as she was finding this humorous, she couldn't help but want Regina more and more with every passing second. Regina stood still in the driveway as Emma tried to coax her into the house; she wouldn't move an inch.

"Emmmmma holy shit I gotta pee so bad. I'm gonna pee myself." The older woman crossed her legs where she stood and wrapped her arms around Emma's neck in an attempt to steady herself.

"Okay, well why don't we get you inside and you can go okay? You're home now." Regina broke away from her and quickly disappeared behind a hedge lining her driveway just a few feet away. 'Is she really going to…oh my god.' Her thoughts were answered as she heard a loud sigh of relief and an ongoing, thick trickle of water hitting the ground. Goddamn, she really did have to pee. If anything, Emma should have gotten out her cell phone and created the biggest incident of blackmail against this woman. Emma felt herself blush as she awkwardly waited; there was no point in interrupting the woman. After what felt like ten minutes, Regina finally finished relieving herself as Emma grabbed her by the arm, pretty much dragging her in the house before the neighbors woke up and made a spectacle out of the two.

"We will clean the car in the morning, right now you just need a shower and some rest and some-" - Emma's voice broke as Regina stood still and turned pale and green again. The blonde looked around, hoping to find a trash can or container close enough for the occasion, but failed as she threw up on the carpet in front of them. It looked as if she was throwing up pure alcohol, how much had she really had to drink tonight? " Well I guess we'll be cleaning that tomorrow too, or..you'll be." Regina laughed as she danced around her living room, not noticing the fact that she was trashing her own house she worked so hard everyday to keep clean. Emma picked up the older woman and carried her up the stairs, leading her into the master bathroom. Regina was lighter than she would have imagined; at this moment she seemed so fragile. The thought of undressing Regina to put her in the shower was making Emma start to feel wet, but even she knew that you should never take advantage of a lady under the influence. She stood Regina in the bathroom, staring at the hot mess of a brunette staring back at her.

"Are we gonna have a slumber party Emma?! Let's have a pillow fight! Right now! I'll go get the pillows! Then we can hit each other with the pillows and then we can lay down and make out and fuck!" Wow.

"No Regina, I'm going to help you take your dress off and you're going to take a shower, clean yourself up and go lay down. I'm going to stay here to make sure that you're okay tonight, but this isn't a slumber party, this is me not wanting to be charged with your death due to neglect. Now stay still and stop squirming around!" Emma's fingers found the zipper on the back of Regina's dress as she pulled it down, revealing a dark-skinned body in nothing but a black laced bra and matching thong. 'Oh when you're sober Regina, I swear to God'.

"Sit here for a second okay?" She left Regina sitting on the edge of the toilet as she walked into the Mayor's room. It was so fancy and perfect, something that the blonde wasn't used to. Emma found a trash can and put it next to Regina's bed, knowing that it would save her more clean up in the morning.

She came back and turned the knobs to the shower and made the water hot as Regina stepped in. Steam filled the room as steam filled Emma's wandering mind. To hell with being professional and being the sherif, Regina wanted her and Emma wanted her back. She couldn't control herself anymore. The next hour will be full of mishaps, rambling and sleepiness, but by the end of the night Emma may be playing the part of more than a caregiver.


End file.
